Inuyasha and the Mary Sue
by Catwho
Summary: Inuyasha and the crew encounter the most fearsome enemy of all - the dreaded Mary Sue! What horrors await our intrepid heroes as they battle with her?


Inuyasha and the Mary Sue  
or  
You too can write a good summary!  
  
-by Cat Who  
  
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Author's note: A negative rant written as a spamfic. I will no doubt be flamed for this, but this is the most constructive way I could get my opinion out.  
  
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* * *   
  
Five figures wandered down a dusty road, not suspecting anything on the fine, dry, sunny day. Overhead, birds flew to and fro the budding trees of spring. Clouds gathered low on the horizon, promising rain later, but no one in the group noticed it.  
  
Kagome sighed. "It's a nice day out."  
  
"That it is," Miroku said in agreement. Sango and Shippou nodded, although Inuyasha grumbled disapprovingly.  
  
"Something doesn't feel right," he said, putting one hand on Tessaiga.  
  
"Honestly, Inuyasha, you say that every time you see a cat," Kagome sighed, forcibly removing his hand from the hilt of his sword. "Can't you just accept a beautiful day as it is?"  
  
"No! Beautiful days are always ruined by something!" The hanyou glanced around, his lemon eyes darting nervously from the bushes to the trees.  
  
"Now that you mention it . . ." Sango said thoughtfully, suddenly alert.   
  
" . . . it's too quiet," Miroku finished.  
  
"I don't sense anything," Shippou said, leaping onto Kagome's shoulder.  
  
"Neither do I," Kagome huffed. "No youkai, no Shikon shards -- nothing!" She walked on ahead of them for several yards, climbing up a faint hill. "It's not like we're going to find a dead body over the rise of this hillock, thank you very much -- ACK!"  
  
Kagome's scream pierced through the tranquil air, and the others ran quickly to her side. She had brought her hands up to her mouth to stifle her scream, and everyone gasped as the pathetic sight before them.  
  
A girl had been tied up cruelly, her hands and feet bound. She was gagged, and had been struggling for some time, as she was covered in the dust from the road.  
  
"Is . . . it alive?" Shippou squeaked, peering out from behind Kagome's hair where he had hidden.  
  
"I think so," Inuyasha said, and poked the girl with the scabbard of Tessaiga. "Hey, you. You alive?"  
  
The bound girl stirred and opened sleepy eyes. She blinked a few times, and then began screaming when she saw those who were before her. The gag muffled the worst of her screams, so Sango knelt down and cut the gag with her knife. The others knelt beside her.  
  
"Shhh, shhh," Kagome said, stroking the terrified girl comfortingly. "What happened? Who did this to you?"  
  
The girl blinked at Kagome, and then looked at the assembled youkai hunters.  
  
She then passed out.  
  
"Crap," Inuyasha complained, and shook his head deploringly. "We're not going to get any answers out of her at this rate. Come on, let's get off the road." He grabbed the girl and tossed her over his shoulder, and the group made their way to a less open spot to set up camp for the time being.  
  
* * *  
  
Several hours later, the untied girl was sitting in front of the campfire, a mug of broth in her hands. Something had been bothering Kagome about her appearance, but it wasn't until the other girl started fiddling with her sleeves that it dawned on Kagome: the girl was wearing a school uniform.  
  
"Hey! You're from the 20th century, aren't you?" Kagome cried, and grasped the other girl's arm. "You have to be! That looks like the uniform from Haze!"  
  
The girl stared down at her brown and white uniform, and blushed.  
  
"I was writing Hikaru no Go before this," she said in a very small voice.  
  
Kagome blinked at the odd statement, but decided to disregard it. "What's your name?"  
  
"Merisu." Merisu sipped slightly at her broth, and shuddered. "I am . . . Merisu."  
  
"How did you get here?" Kagome was incredibly excited. As far as she'd known, she was the only person beside Inuyasha who could traverse the well.  
  
The girl looked down at her feet, her eyes hollow. "Punishment," she finally whispered, and then stood up. She shook her fist at the sky. "Kill me now, damn you! Go ahead and kill me now! Haven't you tortured me enough?"  
  
The storm clouds which had been threatening since earlier had gathered, blocking out the sun. The sky rumbled angrily, and Merisu immediately dropped down again.  
  
"Who did this to you?" Miroku asked, concerned.  
  
Merisu began gushing. "I was just minding my own business, trying to write a nice little alternate universe, when all of a sudden a voice yelled 'Merisu! Thief! Writer of bad summaries!' and grabbed me from my chair." The girl began crying. "Next thing I know, I'm tossed into this horrible Inuyasha fan fiction, where thieves abduct me and steal my cell phone!"  
  
The five party members blinked at that unusual declaration, and finally Inuyasha spoke for all of them.  
  
"Well, that just shot the fourth wall to hell." Inuyasha stood up and crossed his arms impatiently, staring at the girl. "Just what sort of alternate universe were you trying to write?"  
  
The girl dug around in her pockets and produced a few sheets of typed paper. "You can read it if you want," she said hopefully. "I like reviews.  
  
Kagome took the pieces of paper, and swallowed hard. She had a bad feeling about this.  
  
  
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Inuyasha don't go!  
a Au fic by Merisu  
  
summary: ok i know im bad at summaries, but inuyasha is a math student at the same scool as kagome. ~~~ pls r&r! ~~~  
  
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Inu-Yasha stood in front of the class, his eyes were tired from writing all night and he didn't want to present the problem but the teacher had told him he had to.  
He looked at Kagome in the front row. She was the prefect student, unlike him and she always got good grades in math too and in English and history.  
It wasn;t fair! She was little miss wonderful. He didn't like her at all.  
Behind her sat Merisu, and Inuyasha warmed as she smiled encouragingly at him. Merisu was so sweet and everyone loved her, even Kagome and her twin Kikyou.  
Inuyasha decided to change his plans and not present the math problem. He cleared his throat and made an announceent.  
"Everyone! I would like to declare my eternal love for Merisu!" Everyone in the class gasped and turned to her. Then they all cheered. Inuyasha dropped down to his knees, and pulled out an engagemnt ring.  
"Merisu will you marrey me?" he asked.  
  
* * *  
  
"The ****?" Inuyasha interrupted, grabbing the paper. "Why the hell would I do that?"  
  
Kagome's eyebrows were twitching as she fought for something positive to say.  
  
Shippou, being the youngest of the group with no such inhibitions, spoke his mind. "That was scary," he said, his little voice trembling.  
  
"It was . . . er . . ." Miroku struggled.   
  
"It started off well," Sango said encouragingly. "But it could use a little work."  
  
Merisu stared at her precious fanfic, and looked at the others with limpid eyes. "But it's my baby," she said, tears welling up. "I worked for days on that fic."  
  
Kagome finally found her voice. "I can suggest a few things," she said, and dug around in her backpack for a red pen.  
  
* * *  
  
1. The title is what should hook your readers first off. The title should be original and fresh, but also somehow related to the content of the story. It can be anything from one word to a whole sentence, but it is not exempt from the rules of grammar. Also, keep in mind that with over 2000 stories in the Inuyasha fandom, your title may have already been used -- and people can be awfully territorial about titles. A little research goes a long way.  
  
2. There is NO EXCUSE for not having a summary. If you can't find a summary of your fic, how can you expect ANYONE to know what it is actually about? The summary is your "thesis" of the story -- the essence, the bare bones. It can be a teaser, a quote, a line from a song . . . but having the phrase "I suck at summaries" is the same as saying "I can't write a simple sentence so how the hell can I write a whole story?" Summaries should also include pairing and warning tags. Some people don't like AU stories, so they should always be labeled as such in the summary. Same goes for alternate pairings, crossovers, and fics which involve unusual content, like angst or darkfics. Without a good summary, NO ONE WILL READ YOUR FIC.  
  
3. Formatting! HTML is your friend. If you have to edit the line breaks yourself, do so in raw HTML. If you can't do it, then an HTML editor like free Microsoft FrontPage Express will do it for you.  
  
4. AU does not mean OOC. I repeat, AU != OOC. An AU in which characters bear no resemblance to their canon counterparts isn't fan fiction, it's bad original fiction with character's names changed.  
  
5. Get a beta reader. There are things that you will miss when you proofread (you DID proofread, didn't you?) that only another set of eyes will catch. Some people will be thrilled to have first crack at your fics and catch any typos you've made.  
  
6. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. We are fan fiction authors. We write fan fiction because we want to actively participate in a series that we enjoy and love. Don't rip off the hard work of another fan and try to claim it as your own; this is morally unacceptable and will result in banning from most fic repositories.  
  
7. Don't steal fic outlines. A concept is one thing -- having Inuyasha and Kagome as high schoolers in the same class, having a story about Inuyasha's parents, etc. Those are concepts, and each one in the hands of an individual author can easily take a different direction. An outline, however, is the basic plot points of a story. If you read a story in which Houjo and Kagome are married and Inuyasha was reincarnated into Houjo and in the future Houjo is a proffessor at "Edo U" specializing in his own legend -- then it would be VERY rude to write a story just like that one. Do something different! Have Houjo be the reincarnation of Kouga instead. Or have the real Inuyasha come along and challenge Houjo to a duel. There are so many directions a story concept can take that there is no need to steal someone else's story outline.  
  
8. Mary Sues are not welcome in any fandom. Original characters are not automatically Mary Sues, but if your original character has no flaws, is impossibly beautiful, and instantly wins over any of the male cast members without work . . . then she's probably a Mary Sue, even if she's a hanyou cat demon from the Sengoku Jidai.  
  
* * *  
  
"Wait a minute," Inuyasha said, narrowing his eyes and unsheathing his sword. "You're one of THEM, aren't you?"  
  
Merisu cringed and shrunk down. "Please don't flame me." The girl started crying again. "You're all so mean! I can't believe you're picking on me! It's just a stupid fic, you don't have to take it so seriously! I HATE YOU!"  
  
Inuyasha swiped Tessaiga silently, and the girl disappeared in a puff of smoke.  
  
"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried. "You killed her!"  
  
"And fucking good riddance, too! She was a merisu! She even said so! They're the worst sort of youkai."  
  
Sango's face suddenly brightened as she remembered. "Actually, I do remember now. A 'Mary Sue' refers to a particular type of girl who inserts herself into a story, and has everyone fall in love with her. Original characters are not necessarily merisus, but they tend to fall into that pattern unless they're well written."  
  
Kagome looked sadly at the pile of dust on the ground. "I feel kind of sorry for her," she said, touching one toe to the ash.  
  
"Don't. Don't give them any sympathy; as you pointed out, there are people who are more than willing to help them before they go sour."   
  
"That still leaves one question." Miroku looked thoughtfully at the group, and then at the sky. "Who did this to her?"  
  
The thunder rumbled angrily from the gathering clouds.  
  
* * *  
  
Cat Who looked up from her keyboard. And grinned . . . evilly.  
  
* * *  
The End  
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